The Peanut Trick Intrigues Me, Though I Worry the Raisin is Cheating

I’m immersed in memoir revision and one crazy schedule, so I apologize for the random posts. I know your world doesn’t revolve around my blog, so I’m hoping you’ll forgive what’s likely to be unpredictable appearances here in the next little while. (11.5 weeks, but who’s counting?)

Today I’m sharing Ruth Krauss’s writing wisdom from her delightful book How to Make an Earthquake. (Go here to see more useful hints, including “A Good Way to Carry Your Carrots” and “How to Make Toast-Nippers.”)

“You can write books about anything. For instance, fruits. The first page could be a banana and the second page could be an orange and the third could be cherries, and like that…. Or, you could write a book for someone who can read only one word. You could draw a horse on the first page and write HELLO, and the second page could be a bear and write HELLO, and the third page could be a kitten and write HELLO, and the fourth could be a monkey and write HELLO, until as many as you want. At the end maybe you could write GOODBYE, just for fun.”

Brilliant advice! I’d say this virtually eliminates the need for creative writing MFA programs, wouldn’t you?

Thursday Thievery

Since I’m entirely out of energy and don't see a re-up happening before tomorrow, I’m reverting to my thievin’ ways for today’s post, three quotes I stole from The Sun. (Which in turn stole them from the speakers. Guilt loves company!)

“Money is a dream. It is a piece of paper on which is imprinted in invisible ink the dream of all the things it will buy, all the trinkets and all the power over others.” – David T. Bazelon

“Privilege, almost by definition, requires that someone pay the price for its enjoyment.” – Paula Ross

“It is very wrong for people to feel deeply sad when they lose some money, yet when they waste the precious moments of their lives, they do not have the slightest feeling of repentance.” – The Dalai Lama

Enjoy the weekend's precious moments, everyone. (I don’t mean the ceramic figurines, though I suppose there is a place for porcelain children about to leap out of high chairs and claw one's eyes out while a possessed teddy bear looks on. And that would be hell.)

Is It Too Late to Say I’d Also Like Three More Wishes?

I’m embarrassed to admit that Valentine’s Day got me down. Lesson learned: if you’re in a love funk, do not have a TV marathon featuring only episodes of The Office. It will not help. (For those of you who don’t watch The Office, let me just say three little words: Jim and Pam.)

My V-day was marked by a gorgeous handmade card from my mother, and a voicemail from my high school boyfriend (who lives in New York) joking that he was calling “all the ladies he’d slept with.” Not that both gestures weren’t appreciated, but let’s just say yesterday’s romance quotient was less than swoonable.

Truth is, there seems to be no shortage of sexy, interesting people around. But despite said abundance of sexy, interesting people, I don’t have time to date anyone right now. With three jobs and school, I spend all my extra time writing, studying, or sleeping. Not a lot of space for long walks in the park, candlelit dinners at Chez Kahler, or relaxing weekends away. You know, if I were into those things.

All right, fine. I’m really, really into those things.

Anyway. I’ve got 13 weeks until I graduate. 13! Today, that feels like a lucky number. After that, real life begins, and – cheese alert – I’ll have space in my life for love.

It seems strange to say that, as if I’ll wake up the day after graduation and poof! Love will walk in. New York has been a whirlwind of new people and experiences, and the last two years have not been about meeting someone and getting serious. You don’t go to the all-you-can-eat buffet and just have Salisbury steak. (If you’re smart, you don’t have it at all. Bad example.)

But the whirlwind is winding down, and I’m ready to start thinking about the long term.

I want that combo of chemistry and timing. I want to meet someone who has similar goals, someone I can build something with. I can’t say I believe in forever, but I do believe in riding the highs (easy) and working through the lows, the crazy stay-up-all-night passion that turns into something deeper and richer. (And OK, I still want at least some of that crazy after the deeper and richer kicks in.)

Some say that by stating one’s wish out loud (does it get louder than the Internet?) the wish will come true. I don’t know about that either, but it feels good to say it. It’s slightly embarrassing – is it OK to publicly admit you don’t want to be alone forever? – but good, nonetheless.

So there you go, universe. Run with it.

P.S. My health is holding, and unless something drastic happens, I won’t need surgery. Hurray!

Third Time's a Charm?

So, the thing I had twice before is back. I’m waiting to see if a different kind of antibiotic will head it off before I have to head to surgery, but meanwhile, I’m taking a break from anything requiring more effort than pulling back the covers. For my New York readers, enjoy the snow day. For everyone, I hope you have a great week, and I plan to see you back here on Monday.

Quote of the Night: “Passion Is Not Mania” (So We’d Better Go Back on Our Meds)

I went to the “Art of the Pitch” panel at the Grad Center last night, which featured an agent as well as editors from major mags including The Wall Street Journal, New York Magazine, and The Paris Review. I’d heard much of their advice before, which isn’t a bad thing – it’s always good to hear it again, and it’s comforting that the game hasn’t changed that much.

Tips included don’t exaggerate your pitch (“This book/article idea will change the very nature of life itself! And I do mean biochemically!”); make sure you’re familiar with the magazine before you pitch (“Vogue readers will love my article on cattle manure refineries!”); and put a fresh spin on your topic. (“Save money by making your own cottage cheese!” surely hasn’t been done before. Perhaps with good reason.)

The advice that stuck with me the most was about focus. They all agreed it’s important to become an expert on your subject, and the narrower the slice of that subject, the better. You might want to write about money or relationships, for example, but a lot of people want to write about that. (Though expert status regarding relationships seems a bit, uh, out of reach. But maybe that’s just me.)

Since a lot of people want to cover those subjects, you need to figure out your angle, the subset of that larger topic you can write about with authority. That’s what will get you a yes from an editor.

It got me thinking about life in general. I joke that I’m becoming more unemployable by the minute, but I’m only half kidding. What I do well and what I want to do are shrinking by the day.

The strange thing is, the narrower my world becomes, the more life expands. It’s as if by shedding those things (or relationships) that don’t feed my focus, the resulting space fills up with more of what I want and need. The more I let go, the more yeses I get.

What do you think?

But If Your Goal Is Removing a Brain Tumor, I'd Say Set the Bar a Little Higher

230 pages, 71,000 words, and 3 million seconds of doubt later, I’m done with the first draft of the memoir. Let’s honor my achievement with a moment of silence.

Now. Make me a margarita.

Ha ha! I’m afraid the margarita has to wait, because a) I’m writing this at 8 a.m., b) drinking one’s breakfast sets a bad example for the students of my morning Intro to Creative Writing class, and c) I’m not actually the lush I’m made out to be, despite that unfortunate video on YouTube.

But hoo boy, am I happy. The draft is far from perfect, and good lord does it need a lot of work, but for now, it’s good enough. What happens next is my advisor reads the manuscript and gives me detailed notes, then it’s my job to revise it from good enough to better than good enough. I’ll even go out on a limb and say I’m shooting for decent with this first revision.

2010: The Year of Setting the Bar Low.

Seriously though, what about you? Do you have a goal you’re not hitting because you’re attempting perfection, when you really need to get it good enough for now? Because you can get it better than good enough a little later?