Throwing and Slithering and Sticking, Oh My!

I’ve been thinking about what Barb Johnson said in Monday’s interview. “Once I’m in motion, it doesn’t really matter what direction I’m moving in because I write to discover, and I can’t discover unless I’m writing.”

These days, I’m in motion and life is all discovery. I’ll post my 2009 What Went Well and What Didn’t list on Monday, but I’m starting to think about where this year has landed me, and I hope you’re thinking about your year, too. Because though there’s no way to plan what comes next, we can at least learn from our successes and failures.

A new friend and I were sharing what we’ve done and where we’ve been, and after hearing my, uh, crowded life résumé, he commented that I must be really disciplined. I said I guess, but really, I just do what I want. I’ve never been good at pursuing the “sensible” option, and always lead with my heart.

Not to speak badly of my head – though there is that flat spot, which means I’d make one wildly unattractive bald woman – but it doesn’t get nearly the airtime my heart does. And so far, so good.

I’m from the throw-it-against-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks school of life management. (I realize “life management” is an oxymoron, but go with it.) A year ago there was a whole lot of throwing and not nearly enough sticking, and my primary thought was, Holy hell I have no friends in this biggest, baddest of cities and my classmates are way more talented than me and oh my God how much is my rent again?

But since then, I’ve made huge progress. I have two friends.

Ha, ha! But seriously, the rent. Christ.

What I’m trying to say is that sometimes motion is more important than direction, because direction emerges. First, the motion: Throw stuff against the wall. Then, direction: Notice what sticks, versus what slithers into a pile on the floor. Then: Do more of what sticks. Then: Please, clean up the floor, because that pile is just gross.