I woke up feeling excited and energized, because it's the last Monday of the semester, but that quickly slid into cranky and maudlin. As if I'd just found out my retirement account was worth 28% less than it was this summer. Oh, wait! It is! Other than that though, what else could be responsible for my bad mood?
Is it that since my Henry James class ends tomorrow night, I'll no longer have the privilege of reading, studying, dissecting, and discussing what is perhaps the most obtuse, bloated novel I've ever read? Now I'll have to read books I actually enjoy, instead of wanting to craft homemade Duraflames out of them.
Or is it the realization that for the next month and a half, I'll have 30 extra hours a week to spend doing whatever I want, versus meeting deadlines and riding a train back and forth to Queens? Terrible!
In other words, what the hell is wrong with me? I had a great experience this semester (despite The Golden Bowl and schedule craziness), but I should be thrilled to be on the cusp of a long break. So why the unwarranted crabbiness? Maybe it's because I read this in Paul Greenberg's recent NYT essay, "Bail Out the Writers!":
"Overcapacity has been something generally acknowledged across the writing industry for at least 10 years. In a 2002 essay in The New York Times, the onetime best-selling novelist and story writer Ann Beattie mourned the situation of the modern writer, living in a world where people are more interested in 'being a writer' than in writing itself. 'There are too many of us, and M.F.A. programs graduate more every year, causing publishers to suffer snow-blindness, which has resulted in everyone getting lost,' she lamented. That Ann Beattie must now compete on Amazon with a self-published author named Ann Rothrock Beattie is proof of how enormous the blizzard has become."
Yeah, maybe that's why I'm Ms. Cranky Pants. If someone like Ann Beattie feels discouraged, how should the rest of us feel?
Monday, December 15, 2008
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7 comments:
"Overcapacity has been something generally acknowledged across the writing industry for at least 10 years. In a 2002 essay in The New York Times, the onetime best-selling novelist and story writer Ann Beattie mourned the situation of the modern writer, living in a world where people are more interested in 'being a writer' than in writing itself. 'There are too many of us, and M.F.A. programs graduate more every year, causing publishers to suffer snow-blindness, which has resulted in everyone getting lost,' she lamented.
Ok. But what's the alternative? Don't get me wrong, I can (and do) complain with the best of them, but if Ann Beattie is going to whine, I think she should also come up with some answers. Regardless of weather or not she has been more concerned with "being a writer" or "writing" in her lifetime, she's still been able to live a lot of people's dreams by writing without a day job while simultaneously not starving.
I guess thats my crabbiness coming out!
Hey, I figure there worse things than people pretending to be writers. At least pretend writers buy books!
I think it was Orwell who said he pretended to be a writer for a while before becoming one.
yeah Deonne..this is one of those owieee moments. I think that with whatever one chooses to do in life (especially something one is passionate about) one has these moment of: what the hell am I doing? who the hell do I think I am? I am just one in a million...
I'm sure that came up for you as early as when you made the decision to sign up for the MFA program...
well, guess what...tomorrow is another day and you will get all excited again about writing. I myself think that you are a really great writer (and that is just from reading your blog) and I can't wait for you to finish that MFA so I can finally buy that first book of yours!!
So there! Forget what people write about...just keep doing what you love to do...now go and have yourself a glass of wine!
Great comments, thank you. I apologize for inflicting my bad mood on you - talk about whining! - but sometimes I can't stop it. The downside of having a blog (ha). But now I'm feeling better. (Mikkelina - yep, a glass of wine last night after class definitely helped.)
I don't feel better because my/our prospects of publishing suddenly improved, but because I really have no idea what else I'd do other than write. (I'm pretty sure you three can relate.) So there it is - no choice but to keep going, and maybe the hard work and some luck will pay off along the way. That's what I'm counting on for all of us.
I agree with both Margosita's comment about Ann Beattie being a little spoiled and Mikkelina's comments about you being a terrific writer Deonne.
Recently, I attended a panel. Three writers, all on book 2 or more, all with day jobs. That's reality for so many writers. And while it's certainly my dream to be supporting myself as a writer in the near future, I also think there a benefits to having to have a job. It keeps you honest, gives you material, makes you fight for your work. I guess I think it's important to keep writing for writing's sake, even if the money doesn't follow and the right color parachute never opens. I am deliberately mixing these cliches to demonstrate the joy of writing.
Michelle - I agree about writing for the sake of it, especially since there's nothing else I'd rather do.
My concern is the publishing element. I'm expecting to need a day job for a long time, but it's getting the books out there in the first place that seems like the much greater challenge.
Does anyone know how to get in touch with Ann Rothrock Beattie. I am an old friend and have been trying to get back in touch with her and her husband, Dave.
I would really appreciate any leads you may have
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